Silence Isn’t Always Golden

From time to time I am accused of making too much noise. My wife thinks I’m too noisey and so do a number of people I live with (all females). Now I will admit that there is definitely such thing as having too much noise. It can be quite irritating especially if it is not the type of sounds you prefer. Rap music for instance makes very little sense to me for the most part. Especially when it just repeats the same phrase over and over and over and over. . .you get the idea. That gets on my nerves. People fighting, yelling, and being accessively rude to each other gets on my nerves as well. But generally I like noise and I am very uncomfortable with silence. 

Sure there is a place for silence, but when is that? We often will need silence to process thought. To meditate for instance calls for silence. Reading, praying, and sleeping are all activities requiring some level of silence. But silence is not generally associated with fun, joy, or any semblance of a good time or a happy mood. 

Generally, if I am quiet I am either depressed, angry, uncomfortable, intimidated, scared,  or sick. None of which can be considered good things. The only exceptsions I can think of are when I’m reading or sleeping. It is my experience that people are not happy when they are quiet aside from these few exceptions. So silence to me is not golden, but a sign something is wrong. 

Now I live in a household of females who share in their distain for my happy sound making. They seem annoyed when I sing, play music, tap my foot, talk, or anything else that involves me being heard from. It seems to me that they are unhappy when I am happy. In fact, I will face a barrage of nagging, dirty looks, and rudeness until my happiness plummets into depression to the point  that my silence is obtained. Then, of course, I am criticized for being in a bad mood. This, of course beckons the question: If a man is alone in woods with no females and he spoke, would he still be wrong? 

I think it’s quite ironic that if you were to ask my wife of 26 years what she loves most about me, somewhere on the list would be my sense of humor. It would probably be on her list of what she likes least about me as well. Seems to me, you can’t have it both ways. Do you want me happy or depressed? I’m sure somewhere there should be some sense of balance, but this line is very blurred in my concept of reality.  People who are happy seem to run the risk of offending those around them quite often completely unintentionally.

Personally, I get offended when I offend people. Rarely is it intentional. But sometimes it is really hard to figure out how to live peacefully inside of community. Sometimes its like being caught between a rock and a hard place. I really don’t like to be alone for long periods of time, nor do I like when people are upset with me. So I guess it’s just a matter of learning to live in the midst of occasional conflict. 

They say you can’t please everybody which is perhaps the truest statement over stated, but I have to wonder from time to time if I can please anyone.  I wish to be respectful of others, so I will attempt to live a quieter life, or at least find an isolated area where I am free to be happy in my noisey state. And perhaps others will learn to recognize a bit of noise is usually a sign of a joyous existence.  Noise is healthy and nice. Live with it. 

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About Ken Sayers

I'm currently employed by a children's home where my wife and I care for a cottage of girls who have been displaced from their families. I'm a middle age man with two grown children of my own and one grandchild. I have worked as a United States Marine, a youth minister, a preacher, a childcare worker, and a truck driver. My hobbies include photography, horses, playing guitar, writing, and fitness.
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