I want to share with everyone my favorite video that was shown at the marriage enrichment workshop I recently attended with my wife and couple friends. My wife and I are approaching our 25th year together, so it was time for a refresher course. We’ve been to three workshops, 2 by Paul Faulkner and Carl Brecheen, and this last one was lead by Trey Morgan. We also went to some while we were still in college. Over the years, we’ve had a lot of training on marriage between the lectures we’ve heard, counseling sessions we’ve had, and the books we’ve read, but we still need all the help we can get.
Those who have not attended one of these workshops, my not understand its value. The thought listening to a guy speak for several hours may not sound appealing, but it actually quite entertaining and very beneficial. Even those who are struggling with marriage can find some reasons for laughing at themselves along with encouragement and hope. To me marriage is proof of God’s sense of humor. Why? Well, just think about it.
Here are two people who are completely different. They don’t think the same, they usually don’t like the same things, they don’t process information the same way, and they normally have completely different needs. Yet, some how they are attracted to each other like opposite poles on a magnet.
At first it’s easy, because each one is trying to impress the other. They won’t even think about farting or burping in the other’s presence. They are sure to keep their breath minty fresh and deodorant is freshly applied. But that DOESN’T LAST FOR LONG. That’s not marriage; that’s the honeymoon. Remember Robert Frosts’ poem, “Nothing Gold can Stay?”
Some actually are so delusional as to think that marriage is always supposed to be like the honeymoon. They know in theory that it won’t be easy, but in actuality they have no concept of the difficulties they will face. Most people, if not all, go through life thinking, it’s all about me. We have a difficult time seeing things through a different perspective. Some may even pride themselves on getting their way. Well, that won’t work in marriage. It may appear to work for a while if you have a particularly passive spouse, but rest assured pressure is building and if something isn’t done, and explosion is coming.
Marriage is God’s way of forcing us to think as a team instead of like individuals. You learn to capitalize on each other’s strengths, but you must also learn to be patient with each other’s weaknesses as well. When both people make an effort to hold the marriage together, they both grow together and marriage is a powerful thing.
Marriage workshops are excellent reminders for us to stop thinking of ourselves and start trying to see your spouse’s perspective, even if it seems ridiculous, like in the video. I don’t think I learned anything new, but I needed to be reminded. I also needed to be challenged to do better. Our differences may be quite frustrating at times, but quite often we find reasons to laugh about them. We may as well laugh because its all part of the growth process. I will end by posting my second favorite video. Anyone who’s been married can relate to both of these.